Thank Goodness!!

I knew for a fact that I was losing weight this week compared to the weeke before because I kept on dropping my trousers. Well not literally, but they certainly felt ready to fall off a number of times. My hockey friends will say "what else is new?" but unlike my hockey kit, these trousers are not usually too big.

I think I have gone down a dress size as well this week though as I seem to have shrunk more than the weight loss shows. Last week I was 20 stone 7lbs. (130.2) but this week I'm down to 129.6. A 600 gram loss is not much but it's more than the one pound the scales claims it is!

I should start a facebook group to protest! Or at least write an indignant letter! But then I remember I'm not British so I'll try to get some Scandinavian government funding to support my fat fitness blog.

My so called diet is still ... erm... marginally being followed. The no bread (or at least not much) rule is hard to follow and the incredibly irritating idea to eat just meat/fish with veg and no/little spud is just... well.

Ok so I achieved what I achieved by being more active than I was the week before.
- I went for a total of two hours worth of walking this week.
- I played a hockey game.

and the rest of it will come in a post tomorrow.

I'm not fat enough!

One of the clients where I work conduct clinical trials. Today I discovered that they are starting an obesity trial for people with over-eating issues.

I'm not exactly an overeater but I decided to have a look to see if I would qualify as the trial pays £1600 to take part.

Turns out I'm not fat enough!

So I'm happy today :o)

This is the difficult post

This weeks post is really hard to write.

The exercise part is VERY easy to write: Hockey - 1.5 hours. Stick Handling - about an hour in all. And that's about it. NOT enough.

The eating part is also very easy to write: Didn't follow the diet, but ate "normal" food and had some sweets too. Mainly because I was really hungry all week and I ran out of eggs. But I watched how much I ate.

The hard bit is where I have to face the fact that the end result was directly caused by my own decisions. There's only one person responsible for what happened and that's me. I can explain that I did not get to go swimming because of my feet. I can also blame my feet for not doing any walking this week. In fact they still hurt from my 8 mile trek.

But I caused that too.

So how would you react if your results don't come, when you didn't put in the effort that is required? and what if all your results are there in the public domain, displayed on a giant internet posterboard if you will, for everyone to see? And you are letting everyone pass their own judgement on your lack of achievement.

This is the hard part. Everyone gets to see my results and I can't control what you people think. I failed to achieve what I wanted to achieve this week. And I failed to achieve what others expected of me. Everything I failed to do this week is out in the open and available for everyone to see. I have to face you all knowing that you know I failed to achieve what I wanted to do.

I could have simply not posted an update. Or lied. Or quit. But the whole point of making this blog was to encourage, embarass and inspire me to work harder. And if this week is anything to go by, I could do with getting humiliated a bit more!

I lost no weight this week. I didn't gain any either, which is something of a victory. But I have to step up the activity and eat better because if I don't I have to face the same humiliating task next week of writing the same miserable message that I wasn't good enough. And I don't want to do that again.

So even though this post is difficult, it is pretty important. And pretty positive.

Fat Norwegian Flat.

I learnt alot today. It's my weigh-in day and I decided that I was going to walk to the scales - 4 miles away - and then walk back again. That was an 8 mile round trip (roughly 12km) I hadn't thought through...

First of all I hadn't thought through the choice of shoes, something the blisters on my feet are proof of. It seems that cheap WallMart (ASDA) trainers can't take the 20 stone plus weight bearing down on then for a significant length of time. I am actually so fat that I POPPED one of the air bags in the sole of one of the shoes. Yup. I got a flat shoe. You know you're fat when you manage to actually POP the airbags in your trainers just walking in them. Not quite as embarassing as breaking two camping chairs in one week. Brand new camping chairs. never been used before. Never been sat in before. But then I remembered that no one could see that I poped it, and I remembered it's George. And let's face it, if George made Computer Operating systems they would have invented Windows Vista.

I should have worn my hiking boots, which are seriously high tech and very very comfortable. A lesson worth remembering; NorthWest Territory Hunters. I wore them when I went to the rink this evening and it was actually really comfortable to walk.

I can't think of any other reason NOT to do the walk. It didn't rain. It wasn't too hot. Or too cold and best of all according to my trip counter thing on my phone I burnt around 1800 calories doing that walk. I had to have a chocolate bar to even out the count to about 1500 though.

Oh, and if you're going to walk 8 miles in bad shoes to get massive blisters.... carpets are better than hardwood floors! (I am regretting "laminating" the floors!)

So let me just get on with the meat of this weeks update. There was a point to my walk you see - I weigh myself in a shop in Portchester and as Thomas and I walked home from there one time, I knew how long it was so I had no hesitation doing the round trip.

and as you can see from the video that I made while I walked back, I lost weight.

It's not alot because all I did was being careful with what I ate and cut out snacking. I also have a pretty protein rich and carb low breakfast followed by a normal lunch sandwich and fruit and if I get hungry before tea time I have a protein shake just to tide me over.

I basically try to cut down on sugary foods, bread, cheese and replace it with fruit veg and white meat or fish. There is a pretty strict plan that I should follow, but it is rather complicated to sort it all out in time, plus there's 3 of us that eats dinner. So I watch my portions sizes by trying to eat dinner on a smaller plate.

Exercise. I had my walk and ice hockey training as the two main sources of exercise this last week and if my blisters heal OK I will go swimming before work a couple of times this week as well. I also try to do 20 minutes of stick handling drills 3-4 times a week. I'm so unfit that it gives me a pretty decent workout.

And I end up looking less like a tool when I train. Because apparently I skate badly enough for one of my team mates to comment that my backwards skating was "stylish". I think he was being sarcastic! But the problem with stick handling on a wooden floor with a wooden ball? It's noisy! Must be the reason why my missus who is literally DYING to score a goal this year, flatly refuses to practice her stickhandling.

So anyone have any suggestions what other exercising I could try? It needs to be free/cheap and easy to do.

Background picture

It's me and my son playing at the local out door rink.

Why FNT?

Day 2 today and I thought I'd share with you...

Why FNT?

It is actually a nickname. A term of endearment if you will. She says I'm a nice bloke but still came up with it after I told her and my other colleagues where she works about my 13 year old neighbour. He is one of those simple types that thinks if you shout out loud from behind double glazed windows no one can hear you.

So when I came home one day he screamed OI! FAT NORWEGIAN T(At which point I looked straight at him)waaatt.... He now knows that double glazed windows are not sound proof. And the humiliated look on his face when he realized I heard him was priceless. I retold this story and this lady ( and I use the term loosely as she is from North Fareham afterall) laughed and went "FNT"! "FNT"!. I think. I'm not sure how quickly it got abbreviated to FNT, but it sorta stuck.

And when I weighed myself on Sunday I thought about making this blog and the name sort of gave itself.

So that's who I am... Fat Norwegian Twatt ... Soon to be Fine Norwegian Totty.

New Year, New blog.

Those of you that have known me less than 5 years may not know that I have a blogger past. I was in fact a shit hot success in the blogging world 5 years ago. Well. I knew what to do at least. And until 2008 I blogged about my self employed life every week. 3 years solid in fact. If not longer. I stopped because I was no longer self employed and well. I got bored and had nothing more to say really.

Now, about 30 months later I have a reason to write to you again.

I have decided I need to be accountable so that I can remove the fat from my life. Because the title of this blog is the truth.

From Fat, Norwegian Twatt (FNT)

I am very fat.

I am also Norwegian. And one of my neighbours frequently call me a twatt. So there you go.

The picture proves how fat I was on Sunday. The date is on there as well. So every week I will detail what I have done in terms of exercise and any other tips or what ever I have discovered and then let you know how much if any weight I have lost. Wish me luck!